Skip to main content

Living In A Toxic Environment

People like to blame me for being negative but they don't think maybe I am in a negative space. My own home is a toxic setting. My grandma makes it hell. I call this house the Hell House. My grandma expects everything perfect, compares me to other people, condemns me if I can't do something how she wants it. She can't understand my brain is different from hers. I function differently from her. She likes to complain that no one does anything and she has to do everything but doesn't think why. No one wants to do anything for her only to get yelled at or called back and have to do it over because it didn't meet her standards. 
Shame, Child, Small, Criticism, Self-Criticism

Imagine this. You try your best to help someone, instead of getting a thank you or the person just accepting the job got done, you get yelled at because it didn't meet their standards. That will make you not wanna help them again if they are that ungrateful, right? So how is my situation any different. This is why I wouldn't be able to hold down a job, I just can't meet someone else's expectations. I think that is damaging to someone on the autism spectrum, to have them at a high standard. Expecting so much from them.

My grandma likes to point fingers and blame everyone else but not look at the things she does that makes people not wanna help her. No one wants to help you when all you do is condemn them for not meeting your high ass standards. 

Maybe if she stopped yelling at everyone for not being perfect like her, they'd wanna do something. 

My mom used to cook but she stopped because she was sick of Granny being so nit-picky. 
This setting is not good for my mental health. I wish I could stay with a friend but I want to let my blog earnings get stable so I can help the person out. I am going to create a savings account, put money away. It will cost a lot of money to move. I just can't be with someone who can't accept that I am trying. I can't be with someone holding me on such a high standard. It's not going to help my brain heal but reverse all of my progress. 

My grandma will never understand that as long as she keeps yelling at everyone, they are not going to want to help her. She needs to stop blaming everyone else and start looking at the things she does. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Jobs For Adults With Autism

Just got fired from your 12, 20th etc job? Or are you just out of your luck and can't find any jobs that fit your needs. I will be explaining some jobs I feel are right for adults with autism that you can probably do remotely. This is my opinion but everyone is different and will have different skills. I did research for this blog post. I always to research before covering certain topics.


Sometimes 'real world' jobs are not for us. They are built the around neurotypical force. Remember that NTs don't have the issues that we have. We are sometimes forced to accommodate the Nts and that is not right. This article talks about the jobs that I feel is right for us. It will probably be won't be a walk in the park to get. It's better than being fired from several jobs due to your differences. 
Freelance Work
I am actually trying to land some freelance work myself. I feel freelance work is great for some of us because you can do it your way and the clients will come if …

How Autism Greatly Limits My Ability To Work A Job

I am trying to apply for SSI, got denied twice because they claim 'my conditions are not bad enough to keep me from working.' I got a call from the layers I am going through and I have to go to court. That probably will get denied too. It's harder now for people to get SSI because of people who leech off of benefits that they don't need. It's harder for us since we are not physically disabled. I thought I explain how my ability to perform a job is greatly limited to the point where getting a job will be basically impossible.

You are aware the gov shut down for 34 days last month and there were articles about food stamps and WIC being affected. I shared it on a page and this asshole told me to 'get off my ass and get a job.' I call these people assholes because getting a job is not that simple, one cannot walk into Target and come out with a job. You have to send in applications and it's you vs hundreds, thousands of people wanting the same job. Another t…

How To Give Criticism To Autistic People

I am a content creator. You're going to get feedback from people on how they feel you can do a certain thing better. I am tired of arguing. I am tired of taking their feedback the wrong and they think I can't take criticism. It's common for people on the autism spectrum do not handle certain types of criticism. It could be a low self-esteem thing as well. With us, we need a different approach to getting feedback. Another thing I have noticed is if I am not understanding what the person wants me to do because there are no visuals I can refer to, they will think I don't want their feedback if I try to explain why it will not work for me. This person told me they didn't like it when I read what the game is saying when I play games like Undertale, I will attach a link to one of my lets plays so you know what I am talking about. where you can make your own voice for the character. I explain I read what the screen is saying because if I don't, the viewers will get bo…