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Growing Up With Religious Folks

I have been silent about this. It's about time I speak up. Vent. I couldn't grasp that my folks are religious. If I had to rate how religious my folks are, I'd have to push that scale.  Break that scale. Do whatever to that scale.
Prayer, Bible, Christian, Folded Hands, Religion, God.

These are just my thoughts. I may be exaggerating. My folks heavily raised me on religion. They sent me to a Catholic school and I am not even Catholic. So you can guess what I am. My folks claimed they send me to that school because the schools in the city are bad and the school they wanted to be in was full. They couldn't find any schools in suburban areas?

I would say 'oh my God' and my mom will say I am using his name in vain. Vain means bad right? If I am using it in a bad context, I can see it. If  I see someone get hit by a car for instance and say 'oh my God,' how is that using his name in vain. Maybe my mind is not in a good state to understand these things.

My mom would send me to spend a weekend with my aunt when she stayed the night with her boyfriend. My aunt is extremely religious. She is a Jehova's Witness. She must have converted since there is a photo of her celebrating my cousins birthday when he was young. Witnesses cannot celebrate holidays including birthdays.  She made me read the bible every night. She has a better version that I could read better.  Made me go to the Kindom Hall with her, where Witnesses worship. I had no understood of that stuff because I am not a Witness.

My folks have forced going to church on me all my life. Saying I 'need' to go to church. My mom never took me to church due to my sensory issues with the noise. My mom said I'd cry the entire service. This was before anyone knew I was autistic. Anxiety with all the people may also play a role.

My mom never let me watch Harry Potter because 'magic goes against God.' Why does God, not like something that is FICTION? I can see it if witches who shot magic out of their hands actually existed. If it's make-believe, what's the problem? My mom had a problem with me to watch the Walking Dead because apparently, zombies are the devil. In the walking dead world, a virus made them turn into zombies, something out of their control. The zombies are just extras in special effects make-up. I think my mom just likes to use God as an excuse to keep me from having interests. You know the Disney show Lilo and Stich? My mom wouldn't let me watch it. It had no swearing, nothing NSFW, so I guess it was her God excuses. So God doesn't like a show about family? Ok. Lilo and Stich teach you about family. 

My mom got mad because I don't pray over my food. My mom made me write her an essay on bible verses. She couldn't accept that I just lost touch. I lost interest. You wanna follow a religion of acceptance but can't accept my wishes.

Forcing religion on me will not make me any more interested. It will push me further. It gives me the impression that people force you into something. I don't like forcing things on people.

There is nothing wrong with being religious, nothing. However, you should not shove your beliefs on something. You should not condemn people that are atheists. I don't care if you don't believe in God. That's your purgative. Doesn't mean you're a bad person.  Religion isn't for everyone. It's not for me. It has too much to understand. I think having all of that on me is more damaging than helpful. My mom cannot grasp that forcing all of this on me could play a role in why I am so mentally messed up. 



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