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Showing posts from September, 2019

I Feel My Mom Doesn't Understand My Anxiety

While it's true 2 people can have the same thing. Both of you can be affected in different ways. I feel as though my mom doesn't understand my anxiety. People don't understand mental illness. If it were as simple as 'calming down' we'd do it!

Having a mom with a ton of medical issues while you have anxiety goes together like water and oil. My mom thinks it's easy dealing with anxiety apparently. I told her I cannot be around a lot of people. One reason why I cannot work retail. She knows how busy and crazy Walmart gets. She proceeds to suggest I work there and said 'take deep breaths.' It's NOT that easy! Didn't she swear my doctor said I need a job where I am not around people? If I could work he wouldn't be helping me with my disability case. A doctor won't give you anything they feel you don't need.

My mom needs to understand just because something works for her doesn't mean it works for me. It's like a diet. A diet ca…

My Decision To Work From Home A Year Later

Last year around August, I decided to work from home. I have struggled with finding a job due to autism. I went through a useless vocational program that I thought would help me only to have the counselor invalidate my autism and as a result, I didn't get the help I needed and I struggled during the program. My mom pushed on me working in retail. All she ever suggested is retail jobs rather than helping me find someone where I can live on.

I also struggled with finding a job with the settings that I needed. I had a blog and a YouTube channel so I decided to work from home. I learned I can put affiliate links in my blog. I learned I can sell things through my blog. I also post on crypto blogs like I decided to build that up. Then I had a problem. I had trouble getting my mom to understand why I made this decision. One day I she told me when it got warmer (this happened sometime last year going into this year) that she would take me to talk to the manager at Burlington …

Autism Doesn't End At 18// Blog Everyday In September

Some people under the impression that autism stops at 18 and whatever services the person needs, is no longer needed.

Most schools provide accommodations for students with autism. Adults with autism have a constant battle with getting support and assistance. Getting social security can be a challenge. It's a constant and scary world for us. What is going to happen if our parent/guardian dies? It's even scarier for those of us who can't find or keep a job.

Getting an IEP for your child/teen is not as hard as trying to get disability. Needing a ton of records. Stressing the fact that autism doesn't end when you're an adult.

I noticed that my mom understood me more up until I turned 18. It was a difficult transition to adulthood. If I couldn't 'adult' like she wanted me to she will just shame me and say I think like a child. If I have never been exposed to adulting, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT TO DO?

When I was a teen, my mom helped me when I needed.…

Travel Diaries, Jericho AR 2019 [Part 2]// blog everyday in september day 23

This blog will have different phots.
I have to make several parts because I took so many photos. These photos are from my sudden trip down south. I said it was sudden because it was unplanned and unexpected. One of my aunts passed and the folks down south planned the funeral LITERALLY the week after my aunt died leaving me and my grandpa little time to get down there, save up enough money, etc.

These photos will be in the order that I found them in, or gathered them in. Here are some photos crossing the Miss River. This was on the way back. it was too dark to get any photos on the way there. And when I go down south in a few weeks it will be too dark then to get any photos. 
Since the next time I go, it will be at midnight. 
If it will be midnight maybe I can get some dawn photos! Let's put it that way.

The river looks so high. it looks like it's not even that far from the bridge. 

Honestly, the bridge and water does not look too far from my angle!

The water looks more clear i…

Travel Diaries// Summer Friendship Festival 2013|| BEDIS day 22

These are my old travel photos. This was taken in 2013 when I went to a festival in Will County ( I think). It was about a 2-hour drive from Chicago. The country held this festival every summer. A lady I helped out over the summer sells things at these festivals so I went with her. I went 2 different days so you will see photos taken at different times

~All photos are from

I got a good view of this Farris Wheel. I did record a video as well. I might find my travel videos and post them to my Verond channel so I can link them on here. They weren't really vlogs just some clips that I randomly recorded of my trips.

Everyone is out enjoying the festival. What is a travel trip without taking pictures? 
Sometimes I take more copies of my photos to see which one I like better. When you look good enough, it is a good landscape of the trees. 
There is the Starship ride. I didn't get on it because these rides make me super dizzy. I do not like being dizzy. It makes me feel si…

I Am Jelous Of Couples|| Blog Everyday In September day 21

I have to admit that I am jelly of people in relationships, getting engaged, married, etc. I have always been depressed about being single. I feel as though no one wants to be with me because I am different. I feel like only old ass men who look like they can be my dad are interested in me and I am a ghost to men my age.

I am jelly of people announcing their engagement because I know that will never be me. I am jelly of people planning their weddings because I know that won't be me. I am jelly of people getting married because, I will never see the day of me getting married, changing my last name to my partners, going on a honeymoon, etc.

It's depressing seeing couples everywhere you turn. Seeing people updating their relationship status everywhere I turn. Posting engagement photos everywhere I turn.

I have been hated for being different all through school so I never got a chance to meet anyone.

I avoid weddings as much as possible.

I do go out whenever I can but as I said onl…

Down Town/lake Travel Photography Diaries || Blog Everyday In September Day 20

I will be sharing more of my lakefront/downtown photos. I share my content to my crypto blogs like Steemit and simply putting my photos on my blog makes it easier to share them. I enjoy taking photos and blogging. Being able to monetize it on my crypto blogs is amazing. I prefer that than showing ads.

So many downtown photos. I will run out of ideas sharing them one by one. These are older photos but I enjoy it when I can take a trip to downtown Chicago. I would love to hang by the lake. It's fun just to chill there. 

I have improved on my zooming skills. I can say so myself.

I swear I am posting all of my vertical photos. Now I hate vertical photos after doing YouTube for too long.  The photos from beyond this point are my moms. I post them to keep them in a safe place in case something happens to my computer.