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How Autism Keeps Me From Working|| Blog Every day in September #Day 10

I wrote a blog post like this before. I thought I would do a follow-up blog post or a sequel to the first blog that I wrote. I feel trapped being different from everyone. My mom not understanding me like she used to. Getting outcasted for being different when I was in school. I just cannot go through it again.
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It feels like due to my social differences and sensory needs, I know it will be hard for me to make it in the workforce. My issues with employment are different than someone with a different disability. I feel that my mom doesn't understand and thinks everything that works for someone else will work for me. Neurotypicals would see this as laziness because they don't struggle with jobs like we do. While there are people with autism who work, HOWEVER, there is a large % of us that's unemployed. It's society, it has nothing to do with the autistic people.

My Social Differences

Twitter, Facebook, Together, Exchange Of Information My social differences will complicate a job. Sometimes I prefer to be alone, away from people. Due to how I was outcasted by NTs when I was in school. So I keep myself away from people to avoid it happening again. This could be seen as being 'anti-social.'  I tend to say things that upset or offends someone. I don't do it on purpose. Now let's say I say something that offends a customer or another worker and they report me? After so many reports, they fire you. I am not always on the same page as NTs. Say I ask more questions to better understand the job. The NT employer may not read it the same way I am reading it.
Not everyone has time to repeat themselves. I miss social cues. I suck at verbal communication.

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My Difficulty Processing Information

 Autism makes it hard for us to process the information that we get. Picture a messy room. That is how our brains are, therefore, it's hard for information to pass through. This may make me ask the questions over and over let's say if I need to better understand the job. This may annoy the employer. This could be seen as carelessness. Or if a customer asks me where something is, what do I tell them? I don't remember? Our cluttered brains make us forgetful or make it hard for us to remember things. This eliminates retail such as grocery stores. Most stores re-arrange their stores. I was at Food 4 Less looking for something and this guy said to me how it annoys him that they keep moving things. If I have to spend 10 mins looking for the cans to stock them because I can't remember where they are it's taking me a while to adapt to the store being re-arranged, that makes me look incompetent.

I Can't Handle Changes

Change, New Beginning, Renewal, Innovation, Novelty It's hard for us to adapt to change because it becomes a part of our routines and it throws everything off when something changes and we don't have time to process the changes. Retail tends to change your schedule without warning. Imagine how hard it will be for me if I go with the flow with this schedule then they change it and I have to adapt to the change in so little time. It will constantly be draining to adjust. My mom throws at me I need to learn to adapt. It's hard enough coping in a NT world and you can't get a little understanding. People are always making us do all the work rather than making reasonable adjustments.

Stress, Anxiety, Depression, Unhappy, Worried, Problem

My anxiety is horrible with being around a lot of people. Retail/fast-food tends to get busy at specific times a day. Having to work fast in an enclosed space being around so many people for so many hours a day will be so bad on my anxiety. Sometimes I just crack and have a manic episode because of my anxiety. Imagine me having one of these and shouting 'leave me alone!' 'Please, get away from me!' Employes are empathetic when it comes to mental illness. Sometimes I hit bouts in my anxiety where I can't speak for myself and stutter. To Nts, this is seen as 'lying' or 'hiding' something. Which will lead to misunderstandings, most likely?

Too Moody

I have a mood disorder and can go from 1 to 10 really quick. One time, I was helping my folks put the groceries in the truck. I was not moving fast enough for my mom so she rushed me. I snapped back ' I am moving as fast as I can what more do you want from me?!' Imagine this same situation but with the employer. I'll be fired. I would not be able to hold down a job like that. Rushing me doesn't help and just makes my anxiety bad. Hence why I need something where I can go at my own pace. In retail and fast-food that may not be an option.

My communication skills are very poor. This will cause problems for a job. I was at Walmart with my folks. The pharmacy closed down for the break. My mom wanted something for her sinuses and we had to wait for it to open back up. I thought my mom suggested I stay by the pharmacy rather than following them around until the pharmacy opened again. Then she comes back to the pharmacy area saying she thought I stayed to get in line when the pharmacy opened up. She never mentioned that she wanted me to get in line when the thing opened. Nts, act like we're mind readers. Never gave me the money to get what she needed in case they didn't come back fast enough or anything. My mom did not communicate with me properly yet it was my fault. Imagine this situation on a job when I am cryptically asked to do something and they get mad at me for not doing it. When the employer wasn't direct. A NT probably would have picked up on that vague hint.

Overall I wouldn't be able to handle all of the stress of the job.

Wouldn't be able to handle being under pressure

Wouldn't be able to handle getting yelled at.

Which is why I decided to work from home. I can go at my own pace and allow my body and mind to heal if I need it.


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