I make blog articles about autism to showcase my struggles. I feel as though I lost the connection with my mom that I used to have. It's like she became a totally different person from the mom I knew when I was a teen.
It's hard for me to follow verbal directions
I cannot follow verbal directions. Because I learn visually. If I am given verbal directions with no visual, it's nearly impossible for me to follow them. When I look up tutorials on Youtube, I can follow them if the person in the video is talking and tell me what to click on and going at a reasonable pace. I can actually see what they want me to click on vs someone just explaining what I need to click on. This is sometimes one of the reasons I am belittled by NTs.
I want to pause and say when you have ADHD and autism it's like a war. Autism says slow and ADHD says fast.
I need direct instructions
I am not going to sugar coat anything. I need direct instructions. The autism brain is not good at reading through the lines. Example: get me some coffee. Who's coffee do you want? Starbucks? Ducan Donuts? Go in the closet and bring me a box. What closet? Upstairs? bedroom? That sort of things. My mom refuses to understand this yet she understood when I was a teen. Could be one of her mind games. She acts like it will kill her to say 'go to Jewel and get me some Orange Juice by so and so.' I just can't make it in the world being held on the same standards as someone else.
I Cannot Find A Job
I talked about my employment struggled pretty often on this blog. of course, anyone can struggle with jobs. The difference between NTs and us is the NTs struggle standing out from the crowd. There is so much competition when it comes to getting a job. You're up against hundreds of people and only a very few amounts will be called for an interview. My struggle is finding something that doesn't have crowds, where I can go at my own pace, low stress, low anxiety. The list goes on. Most people who don't have jobs are seen as lazy. Little do they know is what's happening behind closed doors.
In general, I struggle to understand the world around me. I am honestly fed up with society making us do all of the world rather than making reasonable adjustments. You can provide ramps for people in wheelchairs but not provide us with the things we need?
Imagine going to another country. You don't speak that country's language and can't communicate with the people there. That is how it is for us every day. Autism isn't always the problem. Most of the time it can be. People's lack of education and understanding is what makes it hard. My mom seeing one aspie working at Walmart and assuming it will work for me is what's hard. That tells me I should do what works for someone else rather than what works for me.
I wish people would stop holding me on the same standards
I wish people can just accept that there is certain things that will be easy and things that will be hard.
You can't expect us all to be the same.
Hardly having folks understand you makes it rough.