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Why Neurotpyicals Misunderstand Us (Or Why We're Misunderstood In General) || Blog Everyday In September Day #3

If I got a dollar every time an NT misread me, I'd be rich. Neurodivergent to Neurotypical communication is almost never on the same page which causes so many misunderstandings. We are not always misread by NTs. Some of our parents are on the spectrum and they can misunderstand us. We can be misread by anyone really. Commonly, I was misunderstood by an NT. You have to remember most aspie kids, teen adults have NT parents. It all depends on the case for some people.
False, Error, Missing, Absent, X, Red, Cross, Letter

We are not on the same page as Nts socially, which is the reason why we struggle when it comes to talking to them. With proper communication, things can work out. However, the instances I am talking about is w/o proper communication. It can be questioned if the people who misunderstand us are NT.  Here is an example. My mom says she is on the spectrum like me. She misunderstands me all the time. It works both ways. We are misunderstood by NTs and ND folks. Or We are misunderstood by people who don't know much about autism.


I think people need to stop telling us to work on communication instead of telling folks to be more direct and get a better understanding. Making us keep up like that can be very exhausting.

When We Ask Follow-up Questions

Look at a messy room. That's how our brains are, therefore, we cannot filter what is being said. Thus we will ask some follow up questions. I post content to Steemit.com, a guy who sees I struggle to earn on my posts showed me a service that votes quality content. However, the info he gave me was not enough for me to understand. He didn't mention how the service worked.  We merely want more information to make sure we know what we're getting into. NTs (or the other party in general)  however, are not on the same page. My follow-up questions made the guy see me as being picky. The guy read me and being picky and I was merely wanting a better understanding. To avoid getting this impression, maybe we should say, 'I'd like more information to better understand' and follow that with your question. There is no harm in wanting information

So when we ask further questions it's not being picky it's just because the info was not enough for us and we'd like more. How is it any different wanting more info about a cable package you want to sign up for?

We Need More Details

Nts are good with reading between the lines when it comes to storytelling. We lack this ability. Say someone is explaining about a trip they took, they may explain they flew or drove. We may ask further questions to understand the story better. Which will cause some misunderstandings? The storyteller may feel you're asking too many questions. Nts have picked up on this with me when they told me something. My questions were only to connect to their story better. Maybe say I'd like more details to connect to your story and follow it with what you wanna know.


Remembering People

We struggle to recognize people out of context. I failed to recognize my cousin without his beard and afro because the last time I saw him, he had a long beard and his hair was longer. He cut his hair/shaved since I saw him last. In other cases, you can be used to seeing someone at school/work. Let's say you see them at the movies. Because you are used to seeing them at school or work, you may not recognize them for a sec. They may approach you at the movies. The person may seem like they don't know you.  This doesn't mean they don't care or that you are not important. Nts will see it like this. Thus the NTs will think we are being snotty, not caring, etc. We are just not used to seeing you in places other than work/school.  I met some guy last summer,  it was too dark and I didn't get a good view of his face, it looked like he had dreadlocks on. I saw him a month later in daylight. No dreads and he looked SO different from when I saw him a month ago. Sometimes changing your hair can make me not recognize you for a sec.

Recharge 

Just like your cell phone. We need to charge our batteries. Socializing burns us out.  We need time to ourselves sometimes to build our interests That way we will have the energy we need to hang with friends. We can't hang with you with a low battery. Think about your phone, can you use it when it's out of battery? We can't function at 100% with a low battery. Nts may see this as not wanting to be with friends/family, thinking we are too good for them, etc. This is not the case. We just want our batteries to be at 100% to be able to hang with you. Think about it that way, we need this recharge so we can hang with you and have all the energy that we need.

Lack Of Details

This can cause problems when you make plans with us. If we don't show up or we show up late, this can be seen as not caring to an NT. The truth is we didn't have enough details to know where to meet you. For instance, meet me a Subway. What if there is more than one Subway in the area. Tell the person the street the Subway is on and where you will be waiting for them. 'Meet me at Subway on Joe street at 4PM, I will be waiting for you on the inside.'

Autonomous Initiative


This was an interesting topic that someone brought up on their Facebook Page. This is about our inability to do something without being told to. (eg) taking out the trash. This can be seen as being lazy to someone else. This isn't the case. We need to be told to take out the garbage or do the dishes. This can be due to the fact that chores are not a part of our routine, therefore it may not get done. Let's say walking the dog is a part of your routine, you will take the dog out because it's a part of your flow. Chores, on the other hand, may not be a part of your flow. Having things outside of our flow can be challenging. Once it becomes apart of the routine, then you will start to see it. We have trouble filtering our thoughts. Remember this is not speaking for everyone. This is just to answer the question of why your aspie doesn't do the dishes or the laundry is piling up.


Remember even Neurodivergent people can misunderstand us. Myself and probably others are commonly misunderstood by NTs. Some of us have NT parents, siblings, etc.

Remember it is rough adulting in a confusing world. 
Feel free to tell me some things I may have missed when it comes to autistic to NT communication. Nts have misread me so many times all the scenarios would make up a book. Or if I got a dollar everytime I would be rich. I will link a useful blog article I found to give you an idea on what I went for.


A Dozen Ways You Might Be Misunderstanding the Autistic Person In Your Life


This article above will give you an idea of what I was going for. 


I also have a video on this topic if you would like to give it a watch.

I always like to have a video and blog version of my content.

I have a good example of an NT taking me out of context. On Steemit I made a poll asking people if their rewards have dropped since Steemit's latest hard fork.

To me, this seemed like an innocent poll. Just wanting the thoughts of people who's rewards have decreased since the update. When you voted on the poll, you have the option to leave your thoughts. I saw it as a way to know who has been affected or who haven't been hit too badly.

This guy, on the other hand, didn't see it like this.


They left me a 2-page essay full of assumptions. I will talk about how us autistics will not read your essay- long comments and why. I will get to that later. I will break down their assumption essay.

First: they assumed my poll is 'biased' just because I didn't ask about who's rewards increased. Usually, you would ask me if I plan on doing a poll for increased rewards or suggest it. Not this guy they wanted to make assumptions. That's like me asking people if they like to travel by plane or car and assume I don't care about traveling by bus or train.

Second: It seems like this. They assumed I don't vote and comment on other people's content when I do. If I see something I like I will vote it, comment or reshare. They just made this assumption because they don't see me do it.  They assumed I don't work for my rewards when in my eyes I do. I spend hours on my content only for it to get ignored.

Third: They clearly missed the memo for the hundreds of times I have stated as to why I don't share the entire article on Steemit. I have a video for DTube coming up about being reported to the Steem Cleaners.

Next: Wordpress has a plugin where I can share my articles to Steemit, I need the pro version of WP which I don't have money for.

Assumptions, and more assumptions. This is my pet peeve with being a content creator. People don't understand how much time you put into your stuff. You can post a 10-minute video. Little does this guy know the video was originally 30 minutes long and you spend 2 hours editing it. For all they know, it could have taken me an hour to write a post (originally on the blogger site) and they just assume I don't spend time on it based on what I show on Steemit.


This guy is an ass:  Another assumption. How do you expect me to take steps and NOT tell me some more steps I can take. Instead of this assumption they could have outright told me 'use the so and so tag for X post.' 'Use the so and so app for this.' 'Use the X they vote quality content make sure your post has Y amount of words.' How can you declare me hesitant and I don't even know extra steps I can take. It's clear I struggle because I struggle to get my content NOTICED by curators looking for some stuff to vote.

Jackass: ONE poll. Let me say it, one poll gave them the assumption that I am negative. They completely ignored my positive posts. I made a poll asking people about a tag for quality content. I felt maybe if curators can visit a certain tag, they can find quality content easier. I also asked about picking why you're downvoting a post. I think it would help creators if they know why they were flagged so they can fix their mistake. Sometimes you may have a misunderstanding about a tag you're using. Take it as a kind offer to say 'the so and so tag is for so and so posts.'  I post my lets plays, YouTube videos, etc. Some travel posts. My autism content is for education. Usually, I come up with a solution like in my autism and employment posts. But one poll invited them to make all of these judgments.


Just Wow: Just because I haven't asked YET about increased rewards doesn't mean I've 'blocked them out.' I guess if I asked people what they like for breakfast this guy will say I 'blocked out' dinner. I just didn't think of it yet. This guy could have suggested it or asked me if I plan on making a poll for increased rewards. That's it. But no, they assume things about me and leave me a damn essay.

'Instead of creating so many postings' I only post to my Steemit like 3/4 times a day. This guy is nothing but an assuming asshole. You can only assume if you don't know in some cases. But this guy crossed the line. 3/4 post is 'so many' to them. To me, it's a healthy amount.

I am done breaking down this judgemental comment. I thought I'd give you a live example on NT to autistic communication.

They just assume it's all on me for why I struggle to earn rather than getting my content noticed by curators looking for content to vote. 

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